I slid the door open a crack a started gibbering stuff like "Nice goatey," stuck my arm out, and grabbed the goat's leash. As soon as I stepped out onto the brick patio, the goat leapt into the air like a deer. Thankfully, for me and for him, he leapt into the wire trellis you can see in this photo, and I was able to wrap the leash around the trellis and tie him up.
I called Public Safety, and Kris Miville picked up on the second ring. Coincidentally, Petey's owner, Julie Kosch, had just been on campus. She and Kris arrived at Unity House in minutes.
And that's the story!